humans

A beginning , an ending, another beginning. Black cemeteries and history

Our country started to develop long before 1776 but if a year needs to be pinpointed the signing of the Declaration of Independence is a good pinpoint. We all learn these important historical dates in school. For example, in honor of Presidents Day we might learn about of first President , George Washington.

Without these wonderful men and their idea of living a life without dictatorship, a life of freedom, we would not be the country we are. We do need to acknowledge that these men were not perfect men, and freedom was only for certain people.

George Washington was a slave owner from the moment he built his plantation he went in search of human beings to buy to work the land. In his death he wrote into his will that he no longer viewed slavery as a moral act and he freed all of his slaves; his wife honored that request.

I think we all know the rest. Washington’s plantation becomes a national park, preserved so all can relive a moment of history. The problem with history is it does not always include everyone in the telling. Such is the story of the slave cemetery at Washington’s Mount Vernon.

Very few written accounts from the 19th century mention the graves and only as a historic site. A map from 1885 of the Mount Vernon estate list the acre of land as a burial ground.

1885 map of Mount Vernon. The highlighted area is the Negro Burial Ground

In 1929 a marker was placed at the site of the “burial ground”. It as soon overgrown with vegetation and all but forgotten in the Jim Crow era of Virginia. In 1980 a group went searching for the burial grounds and discovered the original memorial marker from 1929. It was decided that a memorial marker fitting of a cemetery should be erected.

1929 memorial marker
1983 Slave Memorial

Fast forward to 2014 and with the help of drones and new technology that allows visualization of graves beneath the earth, it was revealed that up to 150 souls were laid to rest on the acre.

There were a few very disheartening parts about the slave cemetery research. I found it odd that the first marker listed them as “servants”. They were called slaves back then why were they listed as servants, and who felt comfortable altering the history vocabulary. The map had a place clearly marked as a burial for Negros but it wasn’t until 1929 that anybody bothered to present this history as part of the tour at Mount Vernon. It was simply overgrown and forgotten for another 50+ years. The 1983 memorial is beautiful but again it took another 30+ years for discovery. This is a good example of how we as a society decide whose story should and should not be told, or how it should be told.

Community & Death

I love podcasts. I listen at night before sleeping, I use podcasts to meditate,or when I walk the dog. I like stories about everyday life, stories about history, stories about overcoming obstacles.

I recently listened to a podcast from Wayland Media. The name of the podcast is NOBLE. Noble is a true story about a creamatory in Noble County, Georgia. I originally thought it might be a chance to learn about the industry of creamation but I learned so much more than I expected.

This true story takes one through every emotion known to humans. At first you are shocked and disgusted, then you find compassion and understanding, and finally possible redemption and forgiveness for being human. The link below is for anyone brave enough to listen with an open mind.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/noble/id1757686789

Random Act of Kindness Day

A smile, saying hello, letting someone in line ahead of you, giving a compliment. Kindness isn’t hard and it doesn’t require a time commitment, just yourself.

Black History Month – How erasing death erases history.

I thought for black history month I might present some of the black segregated cemeteries and why they are hard to find.

This is 1440 Forest Ave. in Staten Island New York. This is where an estimated 1000 people of color have been buried. Only 50 of the actual graves have been recorded but none of the graves have been moved.

Lot 384 is where the church and cemetery once existed. The church gone but not the cemetery

This slave and free folks cemetery was owned by the Second Asbury African Methodist Episcopal Church. The cemetery was made up of homemade wood crosses and stones that would mark a grave. The church was burned down by vandals in the late 1800s and the remains wood from the church was taken piece by piece. Eventually the graves were vandalized and one would be hard pressed to recognize it as a cemetery by 1920. The last person buried within the cemetery was in 1916. Perhaps you know of a cemetery with people buried in the 1800s that is still marked s a cemetery?

Along come some wealthy white land developers which tell the city that the land can’t be tax exempt because it’s not a cemetery, to them it didn’t look like one. The white city leaders agree and the land has a new tax debt of $11,000.00 that the board of the church did not receive until after the tax sale of the land happened.

The owners gave a donation to the Negro College Fund saying they had no idea it was a cemetery. Of course this happened after buildings were placed there. Ownership would change over the years but never any mention of remains dug up for which there had to be some. A strip mall was built by the third set of owners but when approached they refused a monument to mark the history of the cemetery. A plaque was finally put up but has since been removed.

Unfortunately there are very few records of slave burials or free folks of color burial records due to disrespect of others, land sold and bought with graves on the land. People of color didn’t own land and wouldn’t for another sixty plus years. They had no bargaining power over their own ancestors graves or their own deaths for that matter. That history and that knowledge of who came before them had been destroyed forever.

Chinese New Year, January 29, 2025.

Do you know what animal you are according to the Chinese zodiac months. There are 12 animals that represent an entire year. The first day of the Chinese New Year is different every year and is according to the lunar (moon) calendar.

Roadside Memorials

This article is not a long read, or listen (both in the download above). No matter your opinion on roadside memorials, I had never taken a side, the words are meaningfully from a different point of view.

Community Viewpoint: Honor the roadside memorials

As I write this, with about one week left in February, some trees, bushes and daffodils have already begun to bloom around Danville.
— Read on godanriver.com/content/tncms/live/

Growing Old Together

I always loved romantic comedies and still do. From time to time, I like to indulge in a sappy romcom. I really enjoy the movies where the actors talk about growing old together. Awww, what more romantic than you and the love of your life growing old together, being together until the end of time – your time that is.

Although the romcom movies make it seem so warm and fuzzy.

Wake up!

Growing old together is tough and hardly romantic. I would use other words and phrases to describe growing old together like ; comfortable, secret keeper, does chores you hate, children would freak out and stop speaking to both of you, to tired to change anything in life, communal habits, communal timing, doctors appts, helping each other remember things. This is the reality of growing old together.

I’m not trying to make it sound horrible because quite frankly everything I listed is quite nice really. I’ve been growing old together for 36 years and I’m telling you it’s not the growing old together that is the best. It’s growing into each other, and all the life in between, that is the best.

Every parents dream?

If you aren’t familiar with Elf on a Shelf you might think this picture is a little odd. The idea is that you use the elf doll and tell your children that the elf is watching good boys and girls for Santa. Now the elf moves at night to a different location to further convince your kids he is real. Sometimes this little elf will even play tricks at night while children are asleep. An example would be you find him on the kitchen table with your cereal ready, or maybe he picked out your clothes while you slept. You get the idea.

Now this sounds like great fun BUT most parents start this little game around Thanksgiving and it’s played up and until Christmas. This can be troublesome in many ways. Trying to come up with different ideas as to where to put the elf while the kids are asleep and what trick or new discovery the elf might create. That’s a lot of work! Or heaven forbid the parent is to tired to do the elf relocation one night, then you have to come up with why the elf did not move. The worst or maybe best idea is the elf is partially eaten by the dog, hence the picture.

You can feel it……

I am trying to get back out and enjoy life like I did before COVID. After a year off from most social interaction I was excited to go and do things again, even simple errands were more attractive now. There’s a change that has happened and you can feel it in the air.

I’m talking about hostility. I have encountered so many people who are so upset about the smallest of things, whether it be road rage, or some slight they think another has given them, to hateful attitudes towards service workers. Now I realize these people have been with us all along, but this is different. This isn’t just a once a year encounter, this is a daily event. Did we stay inside so long that we have completely forgotten how to treat our fellow man? Have we suffered such enormous set backs from COVID that we are just angry all of the time?

I’m not sure what the answer is but it’s definitely different and you can feel it in the air around you.

Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

Now I’ve blogged about this once before ( see blog “I’m an old lady too” February 2021). Teaching an old dog new tricks is code for they won’t change their way of doing anything. Now it’s not new tricks that I would like others to learn as stated in my previous blog post, but rather old tricks that I would like to lose. I have so many that it almost seems like a challenge with little possibility of a good outcome. My list includes:

*Stop worrying about how I spend my time. It’s my time and I need to forgive myself for not doing something every minute of everyday.

*It doesn’t have to be perfect. This one is a little hard for me to do as I have always been the fixer and doer of my family.

*Stop thinking about the next five things you need to do. I use to make list of everything that needed to be done and every errand that needed running. I rarely finished the list in one day but I worked myself to death trying to reach the end of the list.

*Stop comparing your life and yourself to others- this one came as I aged – I just cared less about it.

This is the list I care about now……..

  • Listen more, talk less
  • Live everyday like it’s my last ( very hard to do grocery shopping, cleaning house, and doing laundry )
  • Try something new every week ( easy enough, as long as you don’t set the bar too high in what you learn). The learning is the most important part.

I don’t really think any of this has to do with old dogs (age) or new tricks (anything that is different from what you do now). I think I am more self aware of is what is needed to make my life mine.

Sound of Silence

I’ve always been a talker. I love people and I love being around people. Now don’t get me wrong I like my alone time too, but my teachers didn’t call me jabber jaws when I was in elementary school for nothing. The teachers would write on my report cards ; “she is a great student but needs to stop talking”. I was reading an article the other day which explained that children who are left alone a lot tend to well, run at the mouth , so to say.

I definitely fit in that category. I always did all the talking for my introverted little brother. He liked listening to me and it always made him feel more secure when I did all the talking, or so he told me once. My little brother passed away 24 years ago but I’m still talking.

Now the problem with this is it’s nervous talking . Not necessarily good conversation. I have been practicing meditation to help me silence that inner child who needed to fill the awkward silence. When I was young silence was always scary, nothing good ever came from silent moments. The meditation helps, not a cure, but it helps, and that’s all I have to say – for a change.

National Month of Hope

I couldn’t help but to write a blog post about April being the National Month of Hope. Hope is a positive, very personal emotion. We humans are all the same species. Other species react to us as humans, not as specific groups. We as a species like to separate ourselves into groups by religion, politics, race, countries, and the list goes on and on. Emotions are described by humans and mostly considered human behaviors. Anger, joy, frustration, sadness, all emotions that are experienced by our species. But the above list of separations makes those emotions specific. One emotion stands out as independent of group emotions, and that is hope. Every human has had, at one time or another, a desire of hope. To hope that something might occur, or not, is an independent thought. I’m not sure we need an entire month dedicated to this emotion, but maybe it’s a reminder that we are all of one species and not as different as we might assume.

I HOPE

New Year-New List-New Calender

I have always enjoyed the New Year, not the parties and crazy things just a new slate.

365 new days, 365 new chances it is amazing.

Now I realize that time is something that humans have created for their own existence but I’m a list maker, a goal creator, and I need a new year. In the last five years I have taught myself , not without frustration, many new things. I have learned WordPress, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, along with e-commerce. Let’s just say they didn’t have computers when I was in school, college or the workforce. Change and growth are good and I never want to be one of those poor souls so set in my ways that I just throw up my arms and refuse to try.

I should mention that there are a few exceptions to my rule of learning, *time and *calendars. My kids laugh at me when I scold them about their wall clocks not on the right time. In their world wall clocks are just decor not a needed household item. They are use to checking the time on their phones and that’s a habit I have not acquired. I have all of my wall clocks , all three of them, place where I can see them as I walk into a room and glance easily as I leave a room. This habit took me well over 50+ years to acquire so it’s stuck.

The second is the calendar. At school the teachers always had a large classroom calendars, in college – an assignment or date book, when I was raising my kids the school calendar on the fridge was gospel. (Now as I type this I’m thinking that’s probably why I’m such a visual learner) I still use a paper calendar even though I do now how to use my iPad calendar. I have been using the paper version for over 50+ years too. I’m crazy about those large desk calendar that cover most of my work table in my studio. I can jot down lots of things in lots of big print, and just when it really begins to look bad- BAM – I tear it off and a brand new one is there for me. Clean and white with no scribbles.

365 new days

365 new chances