What Not to Say at a Funeral

I saw this post on Pinterest and it caught my eye immediately. I thought what a great idea. I’m not saying I would post this sign at a funeral but I do like the idea of talking about what NOT to say. If you are attending a funeral for someone you loved, cared deeply for, or respected, then this set of guidelines is a very good start.

Hugs– now not everyone is a hugger. I am but I agree big squeezes are uncomfortable on many levels.

Bigger Plans and Better Place I agree it’s better to not assume that you understand the grieving families belief in bigger plans and better places. Please, never assume that everyone shares your beliefs in the ever after because they don’t.

At Least– any sentence that starts with these wordsis not comforting to those grieving. Some examples I’ve heard:

At least he didn’t suffer

At least he didn’t know it was going to go that way

At least you have other children

At least your young you can remarry

At least he made sure you were taken care of

I could go on and on with the “at least”

The fact is, any sentence that begins with those two words is not helpful. It sounds like some sort of consolation prize.

Then what does one say to a grieving family member at a funeral?

If you aren’t comfortable with hugging try these words;

I’m so sorry for your loss

I’m here if you need me

I’m going to miss ———–

A fond memory is great ……….but not in a family reception line.

Laughter is great too …………but more appropriate at a reception following a service.

Reaching for their hand and giving a warm smile to let them know you have been thinking of them is always welcome.

The most important thing to remember is you should be there to comfort them not make the day uncomfortable.

Life is a Distraction

I wish I could write a blog post on “How Not To Get Distracted” but that is NEVER going to happen. As a human I have found that distractions in our lives can be bad…..but they can be good too. A neighbor posted on our neighborhood Facebook page that she wanted to apologize for almost running into someone with her car at the intersection. The neighbor went on to explain that her mother was in the hospital and she was running on empty and not as focused as she should be.

When I read this I immediately understood how she felt as I’m sure many people would understand how she felt.

I can remember when I was raising a family there were many times I was thankful to go to work because it was a distraction for something that was going on at home; an argument with my husband, a problem that I knew I couldn’t solve, or a child that had run me ragged in arguments. Work was actually a good distraction!

Now I have had my fair share of bad distractions; certain Apple apps I’ve downloaded, books I can’t put down, any game, and of course TV programs that I won’t list here. I only consider these bad distractions because they seem so self indulgent and mothers by nature don’t partake in a lot of self indulgent activities, at least not without some guilt involved.

My life has been one ongoing distraction and I am grateful.

My Floralmemorial Album

I had wanted to post something like this earlier but I simply put it off over and over. With Memorial Day a few months away I thought I should post the video BEFORE I was ready to start a new one for this year.

Missy

Floralmemorials.shop